my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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