it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
