I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
