I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize