All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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