I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
