Me too!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
