she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
