dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
