I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
