But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
