I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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