Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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