Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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