I wannas sexs uuuuu
if i died would you start the facebook group?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
