I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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