Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
