Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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