i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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