I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
