no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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