Someone shit on the floor
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
