guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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