lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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