that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
