none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize