she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
