hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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