i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
