he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
