I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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