You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
