Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I want her autograph on my taint
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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