Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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