I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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