Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
