Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dick very happy bro
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
