I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize