So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
