I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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