My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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