she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
