I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize