I am full of burrito and curiosity
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
