I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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