Got a toothbrush?
Kiss
Puke
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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