You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
