I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
