accomplished twins. life is a go
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
