I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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