she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
