I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
