When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
