Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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