WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
handjob tips. give me some.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
