Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Less talking, more tequila
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
