I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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