Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
