Yo dont text me then not text me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
