i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
is it fun? or sober?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
